Easing junior's fear of monsters

Q: Daddy, there's no such thing as Monsters, right?
A: Oh, how i wish that were the case, my little one.



But no one can keep you safe from beasts like these. The only thing that keeps them from ripping you and your mommy to pieces is dumb luck. We are literally helpless to their depravity and will never, ever be safe.

What's that you say dear Reader? Cover the existence of these abominations with lies? And send my child dreaming into the jaws of evil?

You, sir, are the monster!