Monday, November 17, 2008

OPRAH GOES CRAZY; RECOMMENDS COUPLE LEAD LIVES AS "INDIVIDUALS"

The World's Greatest Dad is way behind on his correspondence due to recent legal gambits by his much-loved (and currently agreeing to avoid litigation) wife. The less said the better on that one -- don't want to upset the kids!

Son, no matter what, you need to remember that your mother and your father (but especially your father) love you unconditionally, no matter what state i rent this dingy apartment in. While the old man did have to make certain sacrifices due to your bursting on the scene like the got-damn Blitz over London, i will always consider my fatherly duty to be one of the three or four most important of my many, many responsibilities.

MEANWHILE,
ol' Oprah Winifred has apparently lost her mind and posted an article about a woman who is happy that her husband is going away for a week and they don't have to do "everything" together-- and she specifically mentions shopping and watching chick flicks!

The CNN-dot-com lists the following bullet points as story "highlights":
  • Wife celebrates when beloved husband of 32 years leaves for few days
  • Says they trust each other and no longer have anything to prove
  • She doesn't understand couples who do everything together
  • Knows hubby will leave lights, TV on, dog on bed while she's gone

Did you catch that one, Honey? The wife is GLAD tha the husband left the TV on, and no longer requires him to attend to her every desire like some eunuch with a palm-frond. I'm not sure how that counts as a parenting question, but the mysteries of women are many and mysterious!

As far as Oprah is concerned, let me just shout out a big "you go girl," or whatever it is that they say!

Follow this strangely colored text to read the whole thing!

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